my writings; if they can be called that. just me putting words out there in the world, trying to make it mean something.

 
untitled - August 13, 2002

Today the journey begins anew
It starts over; there is no looking back
I cannot begin to comprehend
The extraordinary expense this will levy
Upon my bankrupt soul
My addictions still haunt me
But now it is only grudgingly that I give into them
No more will I do so willfully
Like a love gone sour
I will walk away, no matter the pain
I can only hope that my mirage of love
Will one day become a reality
That all the hoaxes called love
That I have known before will fade away
And that I will come to embrace a truer from
Of this mystery, this unexplainable force
As I look forward on this road
Seeing my journey stretching out ahead of me
With no end in sight
All I know for sure is
That this is the path I must travel
To turn back now would be to forfeit my soul
I can’t turn back now…
I won’t go back…
-maverick- at 8:33 PM

 
hallways

have i missed the door that i should have taken
or have i merely locked it with my pride?
i have walked this hallway up and down
and there are many doorways, many open
some appear to be locked, though have never been tried
and i wonder, why am i still here? have i missed my exit?
or is it simply a a lack of trust and fortitude?
the answer to this question, most likely
will only be found beyond the frames that line this hall
and so i walk through one, not knowing what i will find
but i've got the keys...
-maverick- at 8:27 PM

 
I will sing your praise,
For you have set me free.
From my darkest pit,
You have redeemed me.
Oh, God, my father,
I cannot fathom your love.
You are faithful to me,
When I am faithless to you.
Thank you, Oh God,
For your endless mercies,
Thank you, My Father,
For your boundless grace.
I will sing your praises,
For you have set me free.
-maverick- at 3:53 PM

 
postscript:

blogger hates me. the last two posts aren't quite right, becasue the layout is all messed up. it keeps forcing my alignment to the left, so? until i figure out how to change it, here they are... it is much more critical in Losing You than in the last one. hopefully i'll figure it out, either that or i'll just find a different host site.
-maverick- at 8:02 PM

 
lost and fumbling
tripped and tumbling
i can't find my way home
turned around
and upside down
i seem destined to roam
this untiring earth
so bent to bring me down
i can still hear satan's mirth
as i tarnish my shining crown
hope seems far away
faith it fails to stay
and i begin to come undone
and yet hope is certain
because he tore the curtain
and he's gonna bring me home
he bought the lost
and paid the cost
and he's gonna bring me home
-maverick- at 8:00 PM

 
Losing You

today
I lost
all patience
all Faith
all Hope
in humanity
in you
i hear
your voice
over
and
over
again
but why?
i can't
comprehend
this noise
these emotions
this hell
and so
today
I lost
all aptience
all Faith
all Hope
in me
-maverick- at 8:43 AM

 
a gleam in the eye of God

i thought i saw
a gleam in the eye of God
when you reached out
and helped someone
i thought i saw Him smile
teeth showing in delight
when you loved the person
who hated you first
i thought i heard Him laugh
and chuckle in amusement
when you found out
that you were in love
i thought i saw
compassion in His eyes
when looked away
and fell quickly in the mire
i thought i saw
His arms wide open
when you realized it
and wanted to come back
i know i saw a smile
light up his face
when you returned
and again were in His arms
-maverick- at 9:53 PM

 
i thought i heard you

walking down a dusty road
wind blowing icily in my face
clouds winging overhead
and dirt scratching beneath me
i thought i heard you in the silence
but was it just the blowing by me?
i thought i heard you...
sometimes silence can be
just as distracting as noise
i don't want to miss your voice
i just want to do what you want me to
discernment comes slowly
through trials and mistakes
have i made too many mistakes?
or just not enough?
my past is full of proof
that i didn't hear you
but this time, i thought for sure...
i thought i heard you in the wind...
i thought i heard you...

-maverick- at 6:32 PM

 
prairies

standing in field of stubble
imaging waves of grain
encircling me, all around
swiming in my imagination

-maverick- at 7:03 PM